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JWR 4.34 - Where in the World Is Pumpkinhead? - Page 4

 


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From: Pumpkinhead
Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2011
To: Wendy
Subject: On this lonely road, trying to make it home. Doing it by my lonesome, pissed off, who wants some?

 

How-do, Wendy?

 

Kentucky is home to all kinds of cool things like chicken and horses and coal and grass (not weed) and itís where they shot The Last of the Mohicans (probably).   But more important than all those combined times, like, a zillion, itís where Lebowskifest was started.  I visited the local bowling alley and saw some guys dressed up even though itís not the Fest yet.

 

I sat down with some of guys at the bar and the big one kept yelling, ďThis is what happens, Larry, this is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!Ē  I asked him what he was talking about and he said, ďItís a family alley.Ē

 

So, I had my picture taken with guys dressed like the Dude and Theodore Donald Kerabatsos and Walter.  (I donít think Donnie and Walter like each other.)

 

Just remember, all Dude ever wanted was his rug back.

 

Yours in meditation,

 

Pumpkinhead

 

PS: The worldís largest free-swinging bell is on display in Kentucky.

 

PPS: The gun laws down here are pretty lax.

 

 


 

From: Pumpkinhead
Sent: Friday, December 16, 2011
To: Wendy
Subject: Just beat it

 

Hey-ya Wendy,

 

Today Iíve spend most of the day in Indiana.  But not just any part, no, Iím in northwest Indiana, in Gary.

 

This place has seen better days.  There are large parts of the city that have been completely abandoned and left to rot.

 

An awful lot of places to hide a body down here.  Not that Iíd do something like that.  Iíd bury one.

 

Iím sending a picture of me in an abandoned church that really just needs a little TLC.

 

To quote Shadow from The Fifth Element, I will be among you...soon.

 

With thoughts and prayers,

 

Pumpkinhead

 

PS: Michael Jackson was from here!

 

 


 

From: Pumpkinhead
Sent: Saturday, December 17, 2011
To: Wendy
Subject: It's called Willis Tower, now

 

Hello again, Wendy,

 

This time I am in Chicago, Illinois.  Ever been here?  Iím sure you have.  Itís so close to where you live.

 

I decided to stop here and have some delicious Goose Island beers and visit Millennium Park.  Thereís a great, big stainless steel bean right in the middle of everything.  You can see yourself in it.

 

I had my picture taken by it and am sending it along to you.  I think if you look really close, you can just barely make out my reflection in the bean.

 

SoÖwhatís new with you?  You havenít written me once during my travels.  Something important or noteworthy or anecdotal must have happened to you in all that time.

 

Or maybe youíre just waiting for me to make it back home.  Yes, that must be it.  Have no fear, I will be home soon.  Very soon.  And Iíll have some neat things to share with you!

 

Love and hugs and prayers,

 

Pumpkinhead

 

PS: Did you know the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 was started by a flying saucer?

 

 


 

From: Pumpkinhead
Sent: Sunday, December 18, 2011
To: Wendy
Subject: Roots

 

Wendy,

 

Hey, on my way into the state, I decided to pull over at the border and finally get my picture taken next to the Wisconsin Welcomes You sign.  Iím sending that image along.  I know it looks like Iím really far away in the shot, but, trust me, Iím so close now.

 

What do you want to do tomorrow?  Think about it.

 

Hey, if I wore a pistol on my waist, do you think it would make me look fat?

 

Celebrate life!

 

Pumpkinhead

 

PS: Did you know Racine is a French word meaning root?

 

 


 

From: Pumpkinhead
Sent: Monday, December 19, 2011
To: Wendy
Subject: Home, Sweet Home

 

Hey Wendy,

 

I stopped by your office earlier, but you werenít aroundómust have been out to lunch.  I even took a quick nap in your chair hoping that you would show up before I had to go, but you didnít.

 

Hey, I like your blanket.  It might just be a lap blanket to you, but to me itís a whole afghan.  Itís so warm.  And soft.  I fired one up while I was using it, so it may reek a little.  My bad.

 

What are you doing later?  Wanna go get some tacos?  Maybe we wait for Taco Tuesday?  Get back at me about it.

 

Peace and Humptiness Forever,

 

Pumpkinhead

 

PS: Did you see that Dear Leader kicked it?  That was meóyouíre welcome.  You Mista Pink, Dear LeaderÖYou Mista Pink.

 

 


Click here to see a world map timeline of Pumpkinhead's journey.


 

From: Pumpkinhead
Sent: Friday, December 23, 2011
To: Wendy
Subject: To Infinity and Beyond!

 

Hey Wendy,

 

Guess where I amÖ

 

Iím literally higher than Iíve ever been before in my life!  Haha! 

 

If I see God Iíll put in a good word for you.  Get it?...good word?

 

Pumpkinhead

 

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Copyright © 2011 John Lemut