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JWR 3.46 - Well Come to Hell

 

What if your life were to end today?  Are you 100% certain that you would go to Heaven?

 

The Bible teaches that you need to understand and believe four things in order to have a home in Heaven:

1.      You have sinned against God.

2.      There is a penalty for sin.

3.      Jesus died on the cross, was buried and rose again, victorious over sin, Hell and the grave.

4.      Jesus is able and willing to save you from your sin penalty.

God wants you to believe His Word and receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior.

 

Dear Lord, I know that I am a sinner.  I know that Jesus died on the cross for me.  Please forgive me of my sin, come into my heart and save me.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

 

Jesus has received you.  You have become a child of God.  Your sins are forgiven.  You have received eternal life as a gift.  You have been saved from an eternity in Hell.

 

In sharp contrast to its descriptions of the glories of heaven, the Bible talks very clearly about another eternal abode called hell.  This is the location of those assigned to eternal separation from God.

 

There is no way the human mind can begin to conceive of being eternally doomed to the darkness and loneliness of perpetual exile from God.  Here there is no hope, no mercy, no help, and no relief.  Many people say there’s no way they could believe a loving God would ever do that to anybody.  These people forget that God does not consign people to hell against their wishes.  He only confirms their choice to be there.

 

Every day we are making decisions to include God or reject Him.  When people choose not to give the Lord a place in their lives, He will at some point give them exactly what they have requested.  When you choose to love separate from God here on earth, you are also making the choice to be separated from Him for eternity.  In the long run, we all get what we insist on.

 

How could God be more fair?  What more could He do to save you than He has already done?  He gave you the Bible to read, and people have knocked on your door, shared tracts, and preached on television.  You’ve heard the Gospel again and again.  My dear friend, listen carefully: When you stand in the Great White Throne judgment after telling God all your life to leave you alone, you will have your wish.  His final words will be, “Depart from Me.”

 

…But, if there’s no way the human mind can begin to conceive of being eternally doomed to the darkness and loneliness of perpetual exile from God, how can the Bible talk very clearly about the eternal abode of hell?

 

“Welcome to hell, John.”

 

Oh… thank you?

 

“I’d wait to thank me, for this is Hell.”

 

Then I’ve died?

 

“You have.”

 

How did I die?  Aneurism, right?  Something fast and out of the blue, is that it?

 

“The details don’t matter much, but if you must know, someone stabbed you in the back.”

 

Jesus.  Or I guess I should say “Satan” from now on, huh?  Was it someone I know or knew?

 

“Of course, isn’t it always?  As a matter of fact, it was years before you died you were stabbed in the back.”

 

It finally caught up with me, then.  I know exactly who and what.  I never found out why.

 

“Whys no longer matter, for you are in Hell.  Welcome.”

 

Yeah, you said that.  So, I’m in Hell, I must have been baaaaaaad.

 

“Wicked, is more like it.”

 

Don’t I get to see St. Peter first?

 

“St. Peter is a Catholic belief and is, being Catholic, a false belief.”

 

Care to run through the list for me of what I did to be here?

 

“Blasphemy, idol worship—“

 

No.  No, I have never watched American Idol except for when they have the people who can’t sing.  I’d hardly call that worship.

 

“Ah-ha-ha.  No, idol worship, coveting…actually, you are guilty of every deadly sin and many more not so deadly ones.”

 

I never killed anyone.  “Thou shalt not kill,” right?  I haven’t.

 

“That car crash you drove past three years ago; the woman died.  Had you stopped to help, she would have lived.”

 

How could I have known that?

 

“Ignorance is no excuse from damnation.  That’s why there are un-baptized babies here.”

 

Un-baptized babies don’t go to Purgatory?

 

“Again, Catholic.”

 

Ah.  So, what about this idol worshipping?

 

“Your ‘interest’ in Star Trek, you big geek, went beyond fandom into idolatry worshipping.”

 

…I knew that crush on Major Kira would come back to bite my ass.

 

“I don’t know what you saw in her, she’s not that hot.”

 

Yeah, I know, especially now.  I guess that red hair and her feistiness crammed into that little frame, you know?

 

“Yeah, well…Would you like the nickel tour?”

 

I suppose, but it’s Hell, so isn’t it all lakes of fire and brimstone?

 

“No, and to be honest, I’m not sure what brimstone even is.  Let me look it up…ah--basically it’s sulfur.  I guess light a match and you feel like you’re in hell.  The things people come up with.”

 

What about all the “wailing and gnashing of teeth”?

 

“Benjamin Franklin beat Jimi Hendrix at ping pong the other day, and Hendrix was pretty upset.  He was gnashing his teeth.  And we hear Marilyn Monroe wailing when she bones her ex-husbands.”

 

Are those tennis courts over there?

 

“Yeah.  Arthur Ash gives lessons every day, but there’s a pretty long waiting list.”

 

Hey, is Audrey Hepburn here?

 

“No, she went to Heaven.”

 

Damn…Or, whatever.

 

“Katherine Hepburn is here.”

 

So fucking what, Satan?

 

“You can call me Stan.”

 

How about Hitler?  He’s here, right?

 

“No, Hitler’s still alive.  But we keep a pretty close eye on him.  I think he’s at Pizza Hut right now.”

 

Well, let’s not go there.

 

“No.”

 

Well, what about the torture and endless misery and all that crap?

 

“Not possible, first of all.  The idea a lot of people have is that Hell is endless, ever-increasing pain and suffering.  In order for there to be that kind of pain, not only would there have to be no limits to the levels of pain that could be inflicted, which there are, but there would also have to be no limits to the pain that could be endured, which there are.”

 

Sounds like you know a bit about torture.  Is that what I’m in for?

 

“Nah, we don’t roll like that anymore, dog.  Now, we could torture you daily and make you forget the torture the next day, and torture you again for all eternity, but to you it would be just one day of torture.  Ever hear the anecdote about the goldfish’s memory being only six seconds: ‘Hey, what’s this glass bowl about?  It’s kind of cramped in here.  The walls are closing in.  I gotta get out of here.  Help!…Hey, what’s this glass bowl about?’  And so on?”

 

Sure.

 

“That would be you.”

 

So, then what’s so bad about Hell if you don’t do any of that?

 

“Here in Hell we are eternally doomed to the darkness and loneliness of perpetual exile from God.”

 

And that’s bad?

 

“The worst.  I’m an angel you know.”

 

Yeah, I heard that somewhere.

 

“I used to be one of God’s favored angels, one of his most trusted.”

 

What happened?

 

“Uh, adolescence, I guess.  I got too big for my britches.  All that shit about how I thought He favored humans over angels wasn’t true.  I didn’t try to take over Heaven, I just got out of line and that’s not something you do with God.  He sent me here, and He hasn’t been in touch since.”

 

No God, so what’s the point?

 

“What was the point of life on Earth with no God?”

 

Aren’t you in a better position to tell me that?

 

“Maybe not.  The point of life in Hell could be getting back in God’s good graces, but He won’t forgive.”

 

Then, can you end this…I was going to say life, but I guess it should be something else.”

 

“I’d call it an existence.”

 

Can you end this existence for us or yourself?

 

“I could, but…”

 

But what?

 

“Nobody knows for sure what’s beyond this existence.”

 

Are you saying that beyond the lives lived on Earth is Heaven or Hell, and the existence there is not eternal?

 

“No, it can be eternal, but it can also be ended.”

 

And if that eternal existence is ended, there may be another existence beyond that?

 

“Yes.  Or maybe nothing at all, which after this long could be a welcome change.”

 

I find this all very interesting.  Is it possible that God has a God?

 

“Can God create a rock so large that even He cannot move it?”

 

If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one around, does it make a sound?

 

“The answer to that is, yes.  Just put a tape recorder out there and play back the time when a tree fell and there will be sound on it.”

 

Why doesn’t anyone know what’s beyond this?

 

“Why don’t any of you know what’s beyond your Earth life for certainty?”

 

The religious do.

 

“Yes, well, we have religious here, too.  We have Christians and Jews and Muslims—“

 

Are those terrorist fucks here?

 

“Yeah.  We do torture them, just because.”

 

Good to hear it.

 

“But we have people here who still practice their religions, hoping for a reprieve of sorts.  Along those lines, we have new…religions, you could call them, that believe in various thing about the existence beyond this one.  One of them believes that the next existence is pure energy.  Another thinks beyond is life back on Earth in animal or plant form.  One guy really wants to be an oak tree.  One sect thinks beyond is admittance into Heaven, but the only way to get in is to wait for God to allow it; trying without permission leads back here forever, this time.  But the point is, nobody knows because nobody has gone because nobody can come back.”

 

The people who are still practicing Earth religions, why do they pray now that they’re in Hell?

 

“I’m not sure.  I know it’s not the same as it was on Earth.  There God really was everywhere.  Have you noticed how nothing here…pops?”

 

Yeah, yeah, that’s exactly the way to put it.

 

“Well, God doesn’t exist here despite all of us being His products.  Because of that, everything’s flat.  There are no echoes, there are no reflections, there are no cool breezes.”

 

Doesn’t sound like too much fun.

 

“It’s not supposed to be, but it’s not all bad.  Life here can be somewhat like it was for you on Earth.  Meet some new people, learn some languages, take up new hobbies.  There is laughter and sorrow.  There is joy and pain.  You don’t need money, a place to live, or food to eat.  You can make yourself sick, but you can also make yourself better.  You are as old as you feel, literally.”

 

Can I fall in love?

 

“Oh, yes.”

 

Kilgore Trout thought you were a woman.

 

“I’m neither man nor woman.”

 

How does one end this existence?

 

“Back to that?”

 

Back to that.

 

“I won’t end it for anyone.  No matter what they say.”

 

Don’t you want to see what’s next, if there’s anything next?  And if there’s not, like you said, maybe that would be a great release.  You can create a million more tennis courts and volleyball sand courts and put in lakes and make this place resemble a paradise, but just beyond the line of sight, it’s still Hell.  The abode of the damned and no amount of well-wishing or optimism will change that.  Don’t you want to take a chance and see what’s next?

 

“What if that one group is right, and beyond this place really is Heaven, and if we try to get there before God allows us, then this really will be our place to rot for all eternity?  There would be no ‘next’ if we try and fail.  Do you understand?”

 

No.

 

“It’s like the people who want to kill themselves, but don’t because it would forfeit their place in Heaven.  Maybe there’s not a Heaven, but I’m not taking that chance in case there is.  I’ll finish out my time here, unhappy and unloved, for the hope of a brighter eternity.”

 

Stan, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior?

 

“Those rules don’t work down here, dipshit.”

 

John

 

Copyright © 2004 John Lemut