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JWR 3.27 - Some Kind of Monster


Can you identify with me?


Because I hold grudges.  Because I donít think turnabout is fair play.  Because Iím right all the time.  Because of my conceit.  Because of my sense of honor which is slightly skewed.  Because of the torch I carry.  Because of the hate inside.  Because when itís me, there should be special circumstances, exceptions and dispensation.  Because my mirror image is not true.  Because I am not the contents of my wallet, nor how much money I have in the bank.  Because I donít see any reason to attend a high school reunion to rub elbows with people I never rubbed elbows with in any meaningful way at all throughout the course of the four years we were stuffed into the same box jam packed with asbestos and lead water pipes and peeling lead paint.  Because the thing thatís missing from my life is not a higher power in the metaphysical, theological, or spiritual sense of the words.  Because as I get older, the world gets smaller and bigger all at the same time.  Because I know things that mattered three years ago still matter, but they matter less in comparison to things that were taken for granted like prostate health and the sounds of gun shots.  Because I donít think the more crowded a bar is, the better it is.  Because I donít require anyone to point out big tits or a sweet ass.  Because finding a mistake I made pisses me off.  Because I donít care what people think.  Because I want people to appreciate and understand the time and effort it takes to do anything creative even if they donít care for it or disagree with it or flat out hate it.  Because nobody talks about how they feel with unveiled words.  Because I canít trust you to not walk away.  Because I canít be there for you when you need me most and I wonder what the point is.  Because the more I think about acquaintances that have moved or died, the more I wish I had known them better.  Because two years ago I didnít know how to use Excel, Access, FrontPage, Quark or Photoshop at all and the words ďI canít do anything with computersĒ came out of my mouth one day when I wondered out loud what I could do for a living.  Because I have my very own Sabine a thousand miles away.  Because I suck at pool even though I have a pool table.  Because those great ideas come to me five minutes before I fall asleep of nights when I toss and turn and I donít want to write them down and disturb this rhythm Iíve worked myself into falling asleep and I figure Iíll remember the next morning but I never do; ďOld PGAĒ had something to do with how only golf could support an entire league of professional old players and had I written it down that night I would have made it work, but because I waited, itís not funny, I mean, itís kind of funny, but not that funny.  Because my demons are the same as the demons of people on the news being escorted in handcuffs and I wonder what and where that line is.  Because a walk down State Street alone at one in the morning is a little scary.  Because I donít vote.  Because Iím not neighborly.  Because I shoveled my neighborís driveway until I found out she had a snowblower, or was it until it snowed a lot?--either way, she has a snowblower.  Because me telling you this and you just skimming it and then deleting it without a thought like this is some spam email that promises you rock hard erections or lower mortgage rates isnít worth it.  Because otherwise, we wouldnít talk at all.


Can I identify with you?




The anesthetic state produced does not fit into the conventional classification of stages of anesthesia, but instead produces a state of unconsciousness which has been termed ďdissociativeĒ anesthesia in that it appears to selectively interrupt association pathways to the brain before producing somesthetic sensory blockage.  In contrast to other anesthetics, protective reflexes, such as coughing and swallowing are maintained under anesthesia.  Variations in body temperature may occur.  Although some salivation is occasionally noted, the persistence of the swallowing reflex aids in minimizing the hazards associated with ptyalism.  Single intramuscular injection usually has a wide margin of safety select patience.   Fasting prior to induction is not essential; however, when preparing for elective surgery, it is advisable to withhold food for at least six hours prior to administration.  Restraint in subhuman primate neonates is difficult to achieve.  The recommended restraint dosages for the following are: Papio cynocephalus, Pongo pygmaeus, 5 to 7.5 mg/kg; Aotus trivirgatus 10 to 12 mg/kg; Macaca fascicularis 12 to 15 mg/kg.  A single intramuscular injection produces restraint suitable for TB testing; radiography, physical examination or blood collection.  To reduce the incidence of emergency reactions, subjects should not be stimulated by sound or handling during the recovery period.  Apnea, respiratory arrest, cardiac arrest and death have occasionally been reported when used in conjunction with sedatives or other anesthetics.  Close monitoring of patients is strongly advised during induction, maintenance and recovery.  Timothy Leary identified a genetic type whose future circuits have begun to be activated and coined them FUTANTS.  Futants are naturally selected to facilitate survival by being better adapted to explore the future and take risks through their genetic characteristics.  Unless we provide a proper environment of freedom in which this positive genetic type can be recognized, operate in, and the dross be separated from the valuable information, we will be depriving the race of a vital resource.  Every time a scientist, philosopher, artist, or athlete pushes out thresholds to new ground the entire race evolves.  Ritual Magik is a system of disciplines and exercises aimed at activating parts of the mind we might normally never use (about 85%).  Through this system a better understanding of ourselves is attained.  No true Ritual Magician has ever sacrificed life, drank goatís blood, or taken part in any other stupid urban legend ritual.  This sort of behavior is left to the psychotic, dogmatic, fundamentalist believers you see on your T.V. everyday letting off bombs and killing people in the name of God.  Beliefs are dangerous.  Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning.  A non-functioning mind is clinically dead.  Believe in nothing...




Copyright © 2003 John Lemut