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JWR 2.10 - Nobody Likes a Cheater


Yeah, you gotta love people.  Even the sweet ones can get to you.  Itís sad to say, but your friends will change, or maybe theyíll just show their true self.  Over time, of course.  If you knew the ďrealĒ from day one, why would you even be friends with them?  But itís the sweet ones that hit you the hardest when they turn.  Oh, they donít necessarily turn on you, but they turn in general, to your eyes.  And by ďyourĒ I mean ďmy.Ē


Then you canít be confrontational about it.  You canít say, ďHey, stop acting like an ass.Ē  No, it doesnít work.  For instance, if an ex of yours were to call you and begin speaking like nothing between the two of you had ever turned sour, as if he/she had never broken your heart, as if we would ever dream of stealing your bull shit money!  And sheís all nice, well, you canít just yell at her.  Thatís not tactful.  So, you sit there yapping at her while youíd rather be doing anything else.  ďAre you mad at me?Ē  No, of course not.  Why would you ask such a thing?


(She screamed so softly.)


I love to hate you.


Just ride it out and donít call her.  Maybe sheíll get the hint.  She was sweet at one time.  Then she did her thing.  Now...


I have a friend whoís getting married in something like a year--a little more.  If the past few months will be any indication of how often either I or my other friends will see her, it will be a grand total of three times between now and then--and thatís being generous.  Is that a friend?  Sheís graduating next month.  She wants us to come to her grad. party.  Itís at a church.  Yeah, the church thing doesnít bother me.  Canít drink?  Fine.  Itís not an issue.  Yeah, but Iíll be going to a strangerís graduation party.  Should I bring a gift?  How about ď10 Things I Hate About Your FiancťĒ?  I had an actual list.  It was sweet.  The beeper and the cell phone were not one item, does that count?


I donít want to go to a strangerís graduation party.  I want to go to a friendís graduations party.  So, is a friend someone who does not call you and you are only able to speak to for five or eight minutes only if youíre lucky enough to catch her before she leaves for school?  And Iím the friend who has actually spoken to her.  The others like me have had no real contact besides a couple forwarded e-mail messages, and, brother, thatís not contact.  Hey, thanks for the forwarded joke of the day.  Did it make you think of us?  If all I get is an invitation, I will not go.


Remember the times we all went to Great America and that one day it rained the entire time?  That was the best time Iíve ever had.  Riding the Bull in a downpour that hurt so much as the coaster reached top speeds.  Scott yelling at that little girl who splashed his already soaked body with water.  Jon screaming like he was being killed and gripping his hands so hard on the restraints on all the coasters.


Remember the time coming home when we all had gone to Ho Chunk and you fell asleep on my shoulder?  Then Scott got pulled over and it woke you up.


Or that time I hitched a ride with you to Eau Claire as you were going to Duluth and I drove the whole way and you fell asleep with your feet up on the dash and your blue toenail polish and toe rings?  Power nap.


Or when we went to see The Blair Witch Project and you made us sit on either side of you because you knew it was gonna be scary?


We used to have lunch all the time.  We used to be friends.  10 things.


Or maybe Iím just being silly.  Maybe this is just a natural change and you are so busy that you can never find a five minute break in any 24-hour day to call and even leave a message if we were not there.  Oh, you lost the number?  Yeah, itís in the phone book.


Part time friends.  Maybe she just found herself a full time friend and neglected to give her two weeks.


I shouldnít complain.  I havenít called my friend Alesiha in over a year.  I keep promising to call Matt when I see him out on the weekend here and there.  The last time I saw him I gave him my work that I would call him.  I looked right in his eye as we shook hands and swore to him that I would call him.  I havenít.  And, for the life of me, I have no idea.  Mattís a very cool guy.  Heís a lot of fun.  I donít know.


Iíd like to switch gears for a bit and talk about this show I watched late last night--early this morning called Cheaters.  Hereís the premise: a man or woman suspects that their spouse is cheating on him or her.  So, this group will follow the suspect for something like two weeks, videotaping.  At the end of the two weeks, the group reports the findings to the client.  Then, if there is cheating being done, they most likely will take the client to the cheater and have a confrontation and the their party is there as well.  Basically, theyíll ambush the cheater and his/her new partner.


So on the one I saw this young guy had these people follow his wife.  (I assume youíd have to be married because a cheating boy/girlfriend is nothing to anyone except the person being cheated on.)  So, basically she was telling her husband that she had to work through her lunches, meanwhile, sheís slipping out with some other guy.  And they were taped having lunch and ice staking and holding hands and hugging.  And she went to his house for an hour one time and two hours the next.  They saw each other five times in two weeks.  Which is more than some couples I know.  So, at the end of the two weeks they show the husband a compiled tape of all this and as heís watching it, he starts crying.  I mean, heís trying not to because of all the cameras and people around, but some shit you just canít hold back.  So, they give him the option of confronting the two of them and heís all for it.   They pull up outside a gas station where this guy is filling up his SUV and the husbandís trying to jump out of the truck before itís stopped.  Heís irate and the woman is scared and shocked and confused and the other guy is confused as hell.


She had told her new man that she wasnít married.  He said that they had never had sex, but hey, they were on their way if that sex thing is true.  But, címon, two hours?  What, did they watch Fantasia?  Now I believed the guy because as one camera was filming him and asking him questions which he was nice enough to answer, he starts to break down himself.  My belief is that he thought they had something potentially great and maybe heís moral enough to not see a married woman once he knows that sheís married.  Poor son of a bitch.


They the wifeís all crying and trying to get her husband to hold her and he canít even look at her.  Earlier he had tried to get at the other guy in the SUV but the host guy all held him back.  I was thinking, hey, itís not the guy, hit your wife.  I know hitting ladies isnít cool and I never have and never will, but Iídíve understood.  I wouldnít hit her, but Iíd shake the shit out of her like a British nanny.


So, sheís bawling, saying that she loves him with all her heart.  Heís crying too.  It ends up they just are crying on each othersí shoulders.


Two things struck me: 1) Why was she dating some other guy?  Did her husband do anything to drive her away?  Or is she just a trash bag hoe?  and 2) No matter what happens, no matter what questions the husband asks, no matter what he does to her, beatings, starvation...he will never ever find out the truth about what did go down.  You know, if she had the Midas touch.


Talk about uncomfortable positions like the back seat of a Saturn.


Have a happy Easter.  Look forward to a religion Rambling sometime is the near future co-written by my friend.




ďSo close to hate.Ē


Copyright © 2001 John Lemut